In Love Once and Young
by shakeahand55
Summary: Her lips gave a little twitch as if to smile, she had once been in love and had almost gotten married.


**Disclaimer: I do not own them**

Olivia sat at the bar with the glass in her hand staring at the mirror behind it, her face looking back at her. She had come to the bar tonight alone as Elliot had gone home to be with his kids, Fin and Munch were still at the Station and Casey was to busy to come.

She had things running through her head at full speed, barley able to catch any of her random thoughts she took a drink from the glass. She sighed not really wanting to think, not wanting to do anything but sit there and drink in peace without something stopping her.

She looked to the left of her to see a young woman and man sitting at a table, drinking and having fun. She through that they must have been in love because of all the touches and the looks they were giving each other.

She took a drink again and looked away, she could almost feel the love coming off them in waves, but oh how she longed to be loved like that.

Her lips gave a little twitch as if to smile, she had once been in love and had almost gotten married. Young and in love, in so deep that you were blind to anything other then your lover. She asked for another drink from the bartender, tonight she was going home smashed.

She remembered the looks she got from him when he saw her. She remembered the feel of his hands on her body, the taste of his wonderful kisses when he kissed her, she even remembered his smell. It was something she loved, something she couldn't even described now, but she knew she loved it when they first met.

She remembered how he would whisper her name lightly into her ear when they sat in front of his fireplace. She remembered everything about him, and she was sure he remembered everything about her, after all they were about to marry each other.

She had looked at the time, it wasn't that late so after she had finished this glass she got another, and yep she was going to work with a hangover tomorrow.

Taking a drink of her new drink, swishing the cool liquid all about her mouth she finally allowed the thought's to run though her head, of him and her, of her life now, of everything.

She looked back at the young couple; they were so close to each other now the woman was almost on his lap. She could tell, they wanted to just get out of here, but wasn't sure the other person felt the same way.

She almost chocked on her drink that sounded way too familiar. She laughed, remembering the rumors about her and her partner back when she was a beat cop and the rumors that ran around with her and Elliot. She shook her head, some even through she was with Alex Cabot, there old ADA.

But with her partner when she was a beta cop she could see the reason's why people said the things they did. Both she and he were single, they both worked good with each other and he flirted with her about every 15 minutes.

She loved it so she gave just as good as she got, but at the time she wasn't interested in him. When she became a Detective years later, she looked him up, and found out he was newly married and had a child on the way, good for him.

She wished she could be the one married with the baby on the way, but she was, and still is married to her job. She doesn't think she'd be able to care right for the child, and she would wantit to know its father.

She doesn't just want to have a one night stand and be left with out a father figuer for the child. That would be hell for both her and the child; no she couldn't and wouldn't do that.

She remembered all the times she dated in her life, and only that one time was she ever so close, but she wasn't even a cop then. If she had married him, what would have happened to her?

Would she have 3.5 kids, a nice house with a pool and a stay at home job, with her husband at work making all the money they needed to make it.

Or would she be in an abusive marriage, getting the crap kicked out of her everyday for not having the dinner ready on time and telling her husband to please pick up his clothes off the floor.

Would she of even still lived in New York? Maybe they would move somewhere else, maybe Canada when she would learn how to play hockey and get to see things she never saw now.

Putting her head in her hands for a few minutes before taking another drink, mad at her self for even bringing this line of things up. Now she was depressed, all the thing's her life could be if she had married that man when she was 16.

The one time when she was ever truly and deeply in love. If she had she wouldn't be sitting in this bar, cursing Elliot for not coming with her.

But kicking herself for coming alone, something always happened when she drank alone; she was always ending up depressed.

Wanting to get rid of this feeling now that it was ready to drown her she downed the rest of her glass, paid for her drinks grabbed her purse and walked passed the young couple out of the bar.

Walking out onto the dark New York streets she hailed a cab, not feeling like walking home. As it let her off at home, she gave him the money and got out. She walked in the building up to her house, unlocking the door. She quickly got in and closed and locked the door behind her.

She kicked off her shoes, peeling off her jacket and tossing it on the couch then she walked to the radio and put on some nice music. Then she walked to the bathroom and started a bath, filling the tub with the warmest water she could take.

She tossed some bath oils in it and bubbles as well before grabbing a towel out of the closet and stripping her clothes. Stepping into the hot water and sliding down the cool tub made her both cold and hot, but she welcomed the feelings with open arms. Sighing she just laid there in the water till it grew cold and she felt clean and relaxed.

She got out and dried before going to her bedroom and getting into a pair of silk pajama pants and a shirt to match. She put a brush though her hair and walked out of the room.

She walked to the kitchen and got a spoon and the tub of Ice Cream out of the freezer and grabbing the phone before going to the living room. She put the TV on and pushed play on the DVD player, the movie started to play.

As she was a quarter done of the cold dessert and half way done the movie she picked up the phone and paused the movie, "Hello, Elliot? Are you, no I just felt like talking that's all, ok if it's ok with you. Yes I was at the bar, yes I'm feeling like crap and yes I'm eating Ice Cream, what's it to you? Oh ok I'll see you later, use your key I don't feel like getting up to let you in" she said.

As she hung up, she relished she felt much better then when she was at the bar. She dug her spoon deep into the tub bringing it to her mouth; she pushed play on the movie and sat on the couch waiting for Elliot to show up.

The time she spent at the bar, and the thing's she was thinking about there were washed away with the bath she had, and now the remaining one's were frozen with the cold food.

She felt better now, now she didn't care about having a child, or getting married to the man she loved with all her heart.

Now she just wanted to watch the movie, eat the ice cream sitting in her lap and wait for Elliot to show up after dropping his kids back with his wife.

**AN: This kind of wrote it self, I don't know why I did this but please R&R. And if it didn't make sense or it was totally stupid just ignore it and let me know and I'll try and fix the problems. **


End file.
